Missing Home

P1010234 I felt so empty today. i just don't know why. i just got home from office work and i have to walk a few distance to get something for dinner.
it's past seven. at some time, i got to spend more time in the office than the usual 10-hr-a-day routine and forget about dinner. but this time, i convinced myself to get out and get something to treat myself.

so i walked a few meters from the office to buy 'ngohiong' and grilled pork belly. i walked alone. in the half-lighted sidewalk, i got in touch with an office friend but it seemed to be one of their busiest days, i suppose they're again on their no-dinner overtimes.

so after some small talk, i went ahead anyway.

the streets were, as usual, friday-night busy. some laborers are squatting along the sidewalks waiting for their ride. jeepneys are fully-loaded with workers and night-hoppers starting their weekend hang-outs.

i sat at one of the tables at the restaurant, waiting for my take-out dinner. from that angle, i could see tables of families chatting and laughing. a couple of young office workers having dinner and a small group of waiters hanging around waiting for customers who may call their attention.

after i got my orders, i hopped in a not-so full jeepney and headed home. i hate to walk yet another distance before finally arriving at the apartment. 'twas already dark and i was so hungry, it seems that waiting for the rice to cook is like a year or so.

but i waited anyway.

i turned on the TV so i won't feel alone -- and probably get the emptiness out of my system. the game show on TV is fun, but it didn't make me feel any better. the house was empty. i wanted to lie down and close my eyes. my head has been aching since this afternoon but it felt numb. i guess it was overpowered by the feeling of an empty stomach and a wandering thought.

i put on a CD to cheer myself up.

i remembered the other day when Papcie texted me of that flood that washed through the house that day. he said they have to put all things out of reach of the floodwaters.

the thought of home was overflowing. i could imagine them lifting all the things safe out of the flood. and most likely the neighbors did too.

i used to come home to a noisy-but happy home. i could hear the loud TV or the keys of the Yamaha keyboard on the tune of a Christian song or the strums of the guitar my brothers play often. if not, the laughters and cries of Chummix or the barking of Mottley, Sai-sai, Mokong and Princess while waggling their tails to greet you.

home was truly my home -- nothing compares to such a wonderful abode - the home where i grew up. My home for 25 years.

the noise i used to hear everyday -- the chats and laughters and memories of home -- at least the thought filled a bit of my emptiness.